Blow Job Etiquette

Blow Job Etiquette for Men (As Stated by women)

1. First and foremost we are NOT obligated to do it, if you get one be grateful.
2. I don’t care what they did on the porn video; it’s not standard practice
to come on someone’s face.
3. I don’t have to swallow. Did you here me?
4.My ears are not handles.
5. Do not push the top of my head. Last I heard; deep throat had already been done. And… do you really want me to puke on you dick?
6. I don’t care how relaxed you get; it’s NEVER ok to fart.
7.Having my period does not mean that it’s “Hummer Week”. Get it through your head. I’m bloated, I feel like shit, and I’m not obligated to blow you just because you can’t have sex right now.
8. “Blue Balls” might have worked on the girls in high school. If you’re that desperate go jack off and leave me alone with my Midol.
9. If I had to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don’t tell me I just wrecked it for you.
10. Leaving me in bed while you go smoke a cigarette, weed, watch TV etc…is unadvisable if you like repeating performances in the future.
11. If you like how I do it, its best not to speculate on the origin of my talents. Just enjoy the moment and be happy
that we’re good at it. (reread rule # 1)
12. No it doesn’t particularly taste good, and I don’t give a rat ass about protein content.
13. No I will not do it while you play a video game, eat a sandwich, drink, smoke, etc…
14. When your friends complain about the blow-job that they don’t get…keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either brag or sympathize.
15. Just because it’s awake when you get up, doesn’t mean that I have to “kiss it good morning.”

***Disclaimer***

I DID NOT CREATE THESE RULES!, These rules in no way represent my personal opinions.

I just copied and pasted it onto my BLOG!.

Thank You and Enjoy