July 14, 2009

Who are SEX TOYS really for??

A few months ago my cousin and I hosted a Wine & Wings tasting party and an interesting conversation came up. A few women at the party were claiming that SEX TOYS are not for the woman-per se'-, but for the man.

The claim was, although the woman is the one pleasured by the SEX TOY it's the main who gains the most satisfaction because he gets to bask in her pleasure. Having a SEX TOY adds spice to sex and makes it more eventful. Also, there's less pressure on the man to perform because of the assistance the SEX TOY provides. In addition to that argument, the SEX TOY can be used to provide immediate stimulation and orgasms to women who need lot's of time or when there isn't much time to have sex e.g. a quicky.

Everyone else thought this argument was rediculous. SEX TOYS are obviously for the woman and to bring one in the bedroom is disrespectful. The man should know how to handle his woman without assistance.

I've heard many testimonies about how great SEX TOYS are and one in particular.


This high powered SEX TOY can do amazing things and I'm seriously contemplating buying one. How am I gonna tell Coco Puff about this?


chocolate girl ..... said...

Personally speaking, I have tried the rabbit and it's great for your own personal alone time....as far as coco puff goes if you want to include him in the fun tell him that it's nothing personal you wanted to try something new. If he's not into it then you have your own personal time to explore yourself(while thinking of him of course). Hope I helped jellybean.

JenellyBean said...


So you had some good moments with the Rabbit huh?
Was your lover involved?

Now Should I tell Coco Puff before or after I buy it!?
What if he doesn't want to be apart of it and he also doesn't wan me to have it, should I hide it?

Now I looked up the info on this thing and I'm really interested!

How many orgasms was too many when u used it?
Did you ever use it so much that you felt like you were having a seizure??

MOMSWEB said...

Thanks for the sex toy education. Girrrrl, my old behind learned something (lol).

chocolate girl ..... said...

He wasn't involved... but men are weird like that they think it's about them but it's not,it's about us as women enjoying our bodies and what we like...you should ask him in a hypothetical way, like what do you think of women and sex toys? That should give u an answer on how he feels about it before u buy it....if your relationship is an honest one don't hide it you don't want him to think your a closet freak if he finds it. Btw as far as I go you can never have too many orgasms!!!!!! Your body will tell you when enough is enough. Never had a seizure one but I'm training my bajan brown sugar!!!!! LOL

chocolate girl ..... said...

LOL@mom. We all can learn something!!!!!

QueenBee said...

I'm like momsweb, I learned something. But if I need a toy then I don't need a man. Or do I have the wrong concept? If the man is there, then why does he need help with the toys? Ok, ok, I'm confusing myself, but loved the blog. I'll be back real soon.

JenellyBean said...

You're never too old to learn anything.


I'll ask him subtely, I'm just nervous about him being against it and I think I really want one. If he is against it, how can I still get it and not hide it? I can't just whip it out on him after he told me he's not cool with 2 penis's in the room.

Closet Freak?? I like the way that sounds!


That is definitly the wrong attitude. Think of it like this... you have a man and he pleasures you really good, but you want to feel deep penetration while he 'blesses' you.(Bless=oral). The toy comes in handy then.


If you're the type of woman that needs a while (20+ minutes) to reach an orgasm, a toy will get you that orgasm in less then 5 minutes--I PROMISE!
Now imagine how much more stimulated you will be while having sex with your man, if you had 4 orgasms in that same 20 minute span?!
And you can understand how he can be more relaxed not having to bless you for 20+ minutes just to give you one orgasm.

Men's egos are hurt when they go down and bless you and nothing happens.

Not every woman can have an orgasm through vaginal sex-Thats a fact. Many women need that rapid vibrating clitoral stimulation.

Not all men can go in deep enough to touch your gspot. A toy will have no problems!


(Sorry if that was too explicit)

QueenBee said...

Nope was not too explicit at all. Love it. Thank ya girl!!

Blu Jewel said...

I have the Rabbit (dubbed BoB = Battery operated Boyfriend) and it serves it's purpose when I need it. I've yet to use it with a partner, but that's only because he's usually pretty sufficient and we don't need the assistance. I'm not coy, so I would suggest its use to see how it helps or hinders our performance.

Sex toys are a personal preference and it doesn't make anyone a closet freak or highly sexed. They serve a purpose to the individual(s) using it.

That's my two cents in the bucket!

love to live; live to love!

JenellyBean said...


Thanks for being honest and open here with us.

Does your partner know you have BOB?

Blu Jewel said...

@ Jenelly - yes, he knows and knows I sometimes use it. On one occasion post its use, I called him to thank him for allowing me the use of him (via memory) to make it happen. He was amused by it and said, "you're welcome!" So, suffice it to say, I'm sure he'd be receptive to my suggestion of it coming to the bed.

love to live; live to love!

JenellyBean said...

That is awesome that you are thinking of your lover and not Denzel Washingtong or Boris Kudjoe!

Anonymous said...

I feel two secure people in a relationship can bring toys to the bed with them. However, the toys should never be used as competition against the actual mates. In other words if you find yourself falling in love with "BOB" or THE Rabbit. Immediately remove them from the bed and get your groove on with your mate, touch, feel, cuddle, suck.......... until you can satisfy each other.

JenellyBean said...


Thanks for coming here and visiting my blog. Please join my blog and come back often!

Your advice is great! I didn't even think about how the SEX TOY could potentially dominate the sex within the relationship.


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