November 21, 2005


How could I not trust you?
I opened up my heart to you and let you in my world
How could I not trust you?

Just because I question you does that mean I don't trust you.
I mean, come on, when something seems fishy should I ignore the smell?
I've been hurt before so I'm more attentive to small subtle things, but that doesn't mean I don't trust you.
I'm just going with my gut feelings and they weren't telling me you were doing something, I just wanted to know what exactly you were doing.

I let you visit your friend at her own crib, just the two of you until after 3 am.
But I don't trust you?
I don't even fuss with you about going there or how long you're there nor do I question you about why you are even going there.
I don't even care that you go there!
But I don't trust you?

So you're telling me that my questioning is nonsense?
Why because you don't find it necessary?
So when is questioning necessary?
Oh when you deem it necessary right?

How is that you call me twice at 3 am and your at your home girls place
I call you 15 minutes later and you don't answer
and I'm wrong for asking what you were doing?

Why didn't you answer, I just called you?

"I didn't hear my phone"

How didn't you hear your phone?
I was at FoxWoods Casino Resort with 7 other people and I heard my phone.

"It was on the floor"

And you didn't hear it vibrating on the floor?


Why was it on the floor?

"It just was, don't you put your phone on the floor sometimes?"

Yes, but I hear it

"Well I didn't"

Alrighty then....

I trust him


chele said...

Nice. You can be inquisitive without being accusatory -- and you've done a good job of that. It's just to let the other person know that "what you're doing has not gone unnoticed."

JenellyBean said...

Thank you!
That's how I see it.
But he's making me feel like I have no trust.

He hasn't come right out and said "You don't trust me" but I feel like that's what he wants to say to me, because of how uncomfortable he got about my questions.

He became enraged and said that my questioning was unnecessary. I disagree.

Stephen Bess said...

This is all to prepare and condition you for the ultimate commitment (ie. long term relationship or marriage). That's not say that it won't be him, but you still have to be prepared to handle different levels of emotions. I call it the boot camp of love. :)
I just think back to my past relationships when I was around your age and what you wrote sounds very familiar. It will all just make you stronger.

Take care,

JenellyBean said...

Thans Stephen...
When you were in this situation did it make you feel as if the woman didn't trust you?

Freaky Zekey said...

I don't see nothing wrong with the questions you asked. It doesn't make sense to me either. I think we have to look at ourselves and think about the situation before we actively engage in it. I mean I'm glad you have faith and trust for him to be out that late with another girl. I personally don't understand the whole phone on the floor thing?? Did you not want to be disturbed??? Was the convo that interesting or serious??? Just say so... JUST MY THOUGHTS!!!

Stephen Bess said...

Personally, I was probably a little guilty when she was asking those questions. I would get very defensive when I was guilty. Your questions are legitimate though. I wouldn't want to admit that as a man, but they are.

TRUTHZ said...

well i say you know what they say about pay back right? so get you a male friend even if it's imaginary and disappear in the early a.m. and when he calls don't answer you phone and hit him w/ i didn't hear it...

JenellyBean said...

Hey Truthz...
Nice of you to join me.

Uh uh girl, you can't fight fire with fire, you only get fire.

If the same situation arises out of coincidence, that's another story, but I can't intentionally put him in the same situation.

I'm trying to grow within this relationship not halt it.

Seven said...

Hey Jenellybean,

I's pointless to hit him back with the same thing. Aside from being childish, it's a waste of time. Like I tell anyone, I will either settle the issue or move on.


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