July 16, 2009

Love is Thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me...How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. --Psalm 139:17-18

The past two days have not been too good in my house at all and it's been my fault. I realized this after reading a post on BluJewel's blog. I don't even think I should share this on here, but I need to get this out.

A few posts ago, I spoke to you all about how "Something Needs to Change" in my relationship. A lot of you gave me advice in regards to communicating with my fiance on the issue. I haven't communicated with him yet and I have been acting differently towards him and he knows it.

How do I know he knows it?

He's not a fool.

I found the following in a book I needed to revisit:

"Love thinks. It's not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.

When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came quite naturally. You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like, wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spent together. You honestly confessed, "I can't stop thinking about you."

But for most couples things change.....Sparks of romance slowly burn into grey embers, and the motivation for thoughtfulness cools."

I've allowed my anger and my reluctance to communicate with him about this situation to make me thoughtless and outright mean. I'm such a loving girlfriend and for the past two days I've been so different.
I usually call Coco Puff and tell him how much I miss him or how much I love him or text him doing the same throughout the day. For the past two days I've had no interest in doing this.

I usually call Coco Puff to see how his day is going. For the past two days I've had no interest in doing this.

I usually find excitement in cooking for him. I haven't cooked anything in this house.
I came home late for the past two nights and really didn't care. I went as far as pushing his hands off of me yesterday when I came in and all last night when he tried to hold me.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I'm getting resentful.
I need to pray for real.


Blu Jewel said...

WoW! Now I understand what your comment meant. The most important thing is that you've acknowledged that you've been acting out and now you have to correct your behaviour. You've done what so many take too long to do if they even do it at all.

I'm sure you'll find the words to convey your feelings and together you can work to resolve things.

Love to live; live to love!

JenellyBean said...


Acknowledging this issue is the first step... now time for the hard part --talking.

Thanks for the support!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Relationships are always difficult when it comes to knowing what to do. Sometimes you just have to take a step back to look at the whole situation.

Hope everything goes well.....

Mizrepresent said...

Babygirl, i don't know what is going on with you...but i wish you the very best. I guess you have to ascertain why you are feeling this way and treating your fiance in this manner...got to get down to the gritty gritty love...and make things work!

QueenBee said...

Ok this may not be what you want to hear, but everybody that we choose is not of God's choosing for us. He allows us to go through things in order for us to see how much we really do need Him and how much we should depend on Him. Our ways are not His ways. You could be feeling this way because you could be bored with your fiance, I don't know, but when you are done with prayer, let God handle it and leave it alone.

Tori said...

thnx for the comment on my blog. your blog is great! ii was referring to ppl who mention feed back yet dont leave it.

love is patient... is my favorite scripture.. ii have to go back and read ur other post to catch up to speed.. because ii dont know how u got here in ur relationship. "coco puff" is such a cute name tho.

JenellyBean said...

Crazy Shenanigans

Taking a step back is sometimes the hardest thing to do when you're so wound up in emotions. And when you do step back, how do you know what to look for??


I really do need to get down to the gritty gritty love because I want this to work so badly. Any suggestions??


As much as we sometimes don't want to hear things --we need to! Thanks for your honesty. I've said those same words to people many times, so I know them all so well.

During our premarital classes, Coco Puff and I learned how God wants us to depend on him to help our relationship grow successfully. After what you said, I realize that Coco Puff and I do need to revisit many of the teachings we learned and practice them!


You are very welcome for the comment and I will be there often. Thanks for coming to check me out and Stroking Me & My Ego!

I put the link to the issue in question right here in this post so click on it and it will take you there.

Alli said...

Sweetie you need to step back and really evaluate "What exactly are you angry about"?
Are you going to allow your anger to continue and not communicate what's bothering you? Life is too short for you to keep things festering.
If you love him you need to tell him every single day no matter if he has pissed you off and vice versa.
When you are fortunate enough to find love and it's given back you hold on to that and remember why you are there.

""We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck . . . But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness. --Ellen Goodman""

JenellyBean said...

Hey Alli,

I finally took a step back and realized what was bothering me and it pretty much came down to me feeling I wasn't getting the respect from him that I desired.

I made a decision to not allow my anger to continue and we had a long discussion. It felt so good to get it off my chest. With each tear and word, I felt the stress release.

I love Coco Puff so much and I know he loves me.

Thanks for the wisdom.

Mr. and Mrs. Top Gun said...

Mr. Top Gun and I have been married for two years already! I can't believe it- I still feel like a kid when I see his handsome face :)

JenellyBean said...

Love is beautiful!

Mango :p said...

JB, don't allow you and your ego to get in the way of a beautiful thing.

Push pride aside and discuss your feelings, otherwise you'll put yourself in a situation you never saw coming.

JenellyBean said...


You are so right.
Thats a lesson for so many people to learn.


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